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maddie shelton

I think I’ve made 6,000 blogs in my lifetime - here’s to 6,001

march 1, 2019 

3:26 p.m.

As stated in the title, I think I’ve made close to 6,000 blogs in my 24 years of existence, & none of them, not one, has continued, or become something..

I guess this makes sense. I was a teenager, constantly changing, 

constantly growing - learning. I didn’t have time for that kind of stuff, & even if I did, frankly, the content would be silly, not really intriguing.. what could be so interesting about the life of a girl in high school living in a suburb? I didn’t even have the vocabulary to describe what was going through my head as a teenager - though I wish I did.

I have learned a lot over these 24 years..

My 20 something’s have been the years where everything has come to some sort of clarity. 

It’s quite enlightening,

& very interesting. 

I’m really trying to enjoy every moment of this enlightenment process.

There is so much to learn and take in - especially being in san francisco.

I went to art school for 5 years, and I just graduated last May. 

It feels like I just moved to san francisco & I’m experiencing everything for the first time- in a whole new light.

I always said that I didn’t like san francisco, “I’m just not much of a city person..”

I’m not, but as I’ve gotten older, & lived here longer, I started learning to appreciate the city & all it’s imperfections & chaos.

Just like I’m learning to appreciate all things with a new mindset.

Writing is something I do to express my feelings, because I don’t know how else to express them sometimes.

This is a lot of the reasons I take photographs. 

To capture these feelings, moments - memories, that I don’t want to forget, and don’t want to miss. 

I feel like I have a lot to say, & I’m trying to be patient with myself when trying to display my thoughts. It’s particularly hard for me for some reason.

So much in my mind is so hard to dig out.

Photography has been a VERY good coping mechanism for me in releasing emotions - unraveling memories. 

Like I said, LEARNING, GROWING - I’ll figure it out someday. We all will.

The process is the exciting part for me - I thoroughly enjoying laying the details of my process out & organizing them to the best of my ability. Dissecting, changing, fixing, loving - it’s about the fucking process - the details.

It’s quite beautiful I must say.

Today is a good writing day for me - a lot of them are not let me tell ya.

So, with all that bullllshit being said, 

I am here to write, & I’m here to display more of this bullllshit to whoever might want to read it.